I didn't mean to get this serious. Blame South Dakota.
Well, I'm certainly on my soapbox lately, aren't I? I know best! Ha! Not really. But I like to think so sometimes. And will continue to think so. Just to warn you.
Here's the thing. Today was supposed to be lighthearted. There was a lighthearted picture planned and everything. Honest. You were going to laugh out loud. "That Schnozz," you would say. "What a kidder! What a sexy, sexy kidder!"
But it was not meant to be. Instead I am bringing out the inner hippie. Instead I am talking like so many of us college-educated 25-year-olds do. It's going to be pretentious. It's going to be angry. But I can't bring myself to apologize for caring about politics, and I can't bring myself to apologize for getting serious. I don't know whether you noticed, but life is often serious. I suppose it can't be helped.
Those who don't like politics, or would prefer not to listen to a young idiot with precious little life experience complain about politics, go ahead and close your browser now. Go on. We'll wait.
OK. Here we go.
This makes me want to cry. And it makes me feel afraid. Abortion is a tough issue, and not one I really ever wanted to discuss here, but sometimes you just feel compelled. And currently I feel very compelled.
I don't agree with most abortions, but rather than blame the mother (though she is responsible for her decisions and I do hold her somewhat accountable), I wonder what societal pressures may have made her feel she had no other choice. (Our country's dearth of affordable childcare and medical care, not to mention the cruel cultural stigma applied to young unwed mothers, are a nice start.) But let's not talk about that. You all have views on that, and I'm probably not going to change them.
All I will say on that issue is that I wish we devoted half the energy we devote to preventing abortion to something like, oh, say, taking care of the underprivileged kids who weren't aborted. Everyone loves an unborn fetus, but forget the eight-year-old with a bad home situation and no resources.* Many are willing to badmouth abortion or march in protest against it, but very few of us are willing to take a troubled foster kid into our home. That unaborted eight-year-old isn't perceived as a child needing to be saved; that child is just a social problem who annoys everyone and just needs some Ritalin already. Most of us just spend our time worrying aloud about how the kid is going to grow up and rob us later, or perhaps taint our sweet, overprivileged middle-class kid with his bad influence. Love the fetus, hate the child. Shame on all of us for that.
Throw a stone at those considering abortion**, and I have no choice but to call you to task on your many social failings, some of which are outlined above. But I just ranted about the people on Flickr, and I have threatened to stab far too many people in the you-know-where already (last time, I promise), so the above paragraph will have to suffice.
But before you put your support behind a law like this, I suggest you go read more about Potter's Syndrome, in which a baby is born without kidneys and dies within hours. Some parents, in a decision that breaks my heart, choose to carry their babies to term, just so they can meet their baby and spend those few precious hours with them before the child dies. You can never say what you would choose in that situation until you're there, but my feeling is that I would not be strong enough to carry that child to term. Can you imagine? Months of person after person asking you, "Oh! When are you due? You must be so excited!" and every time, that question prompts a wave of pain and your struggle to decide whether to explain to them that this baby is certain to die at birth. Nine months of sickness, the general medical risks that come with pregnancy, depression, and so on ... nine months that are certain to end with a dead baby. A pregnancy with no hope. And, incidentally, a pregnancy that does not qualify for abortion under the South Dakota law, because the mother's health is not technically endangered (though an argument for her psychological health could be made ... but when is that NOT true when a pregnancy is unwanted?).
When you're done with that, I recommend you go to Julia's and read her testimony about her own abortion experience. In her case, her son Thomas faced many grave health problems, prompting the hardest decision she had ever had to make.
These women are out there. No, they aren't the majority. But I don't care about that. I care about protecting their rights. I care about not worsening their pain in an already horrendous situation. I can't bear the thought of taking those rights away from them. I can't bear the thought of standing in their shoes without the right to terminate. That concept alone makes me automatically against the type of legislation proposed in South Dakota.
Get informed. Look at all sides of the issue. And instead of saying, "Shame on her for doing this this and this," maybe we should be saying, "What can I do to make things better?" Most of us just train our own middle-class replacements and consider that to be enough of a contribution. Well, in my opinion, it isn't, at least not in terms of promoting social change, but I understand if that's all you can do. I struggle to find time to contribute now, and I don't even have a child or two to take care of.
What I don't understand is choosing to spend any spare time you DO have on the effort to restrict other's rights--all too often, from the comfort of a 2500-square-foot house in the suburbs, with your two beautiful, healthy children, who have benefited from excellent medical care and a good educational system--and who were lucky enough to be born with both their kidneys right where they needed to be. Most of us have no idea what it is like to try to raise a child on a single income without a college degree. Most of us have no idea what it is like to give birth to a dying baby. No idea. How nice to have the luxury of judgment anyway. How nice to exist in the target voting demographic. Lucky us.
Give up the moral patrolling. If you're just so moved by the situation, roll up your sleeves and HELP a young expectant mother, or a young child. Advocate. Spend your time on something else. Anything else. Please. And maybe, if you get time, you can oppose this legislation in some small way. But if not, at least don't stand behind it without knowing the issues.
Forgive this harsh look into our reality. Believe me, I don't like it either. It's more fun to wake up every morning and say in the mirror, "Hello, good person! Your hair looks nice!" than to say, "You aren't doing enough on Social Issues A, B, and C. There is no real excuse." I am talking to myself here as much as anyone. But it had to be said.
Tomorrow: All about butts! And circus clowns! Or some other such nonsense.
------------
*I realize that not every woman considering abortion is sixteen years old, with no money and no prospects. But a lot of them are. I don't like stereotypes, and I understand that many many aborters are actually married and with plenty of money (yes, really), but from what I've read, I'm not under the impression that that's the norm.
**Note that there is a very, very big difference between opposing abortion in your own personal philosophy and taking action to prevent others from making their own decisions on this issue. I don't care if you oppose it. This post is not about that.
Here's the thing. Today was supposed to be lighthearted. There was a lighthearted picture planned and everything. Honest. You were going to laugh out loud. "That Schnozz," you would say. "What a kidder! What a sexy, sexy kidder!"
But it was not meant to be. Instead I am bringing out the inner hippie. Instead I am talking like so many of us college-educated 25-year-olds do. It's going to be pretentious. It's going to be angry. But I can't bring myself to apologize for caring about politics, and I can't bring myself to apologize for getting serious. I don't know whether you noticed, but life is often serious. I suppose it can't be helped.
Those who don't like politics, or would prefer not to listen to a young idiot with precious little life experience complain about politics, go ahead and close your browser now. Go on. We'll wait.
OK. Here we go.
This makes me want to cry. And it makes me feel afraid. Abortion is a tough issue, and not one I really ever wanted to discuss here, but sometimes you just feel compelled. And currently I feel very compelled.
I don't agree with most abortions, but rather than blame the mother (though she is responsible for her decisions and I do hold her somewhat accountable), I wonder what societal pressures may have made her feel she had no other choice. (Our country's dearth of affordable childcare and medical care, not to mention the cruel cultural stigma applied to young unwed mothers, are a nice start.) But let's not talk about that. You all have views on that, and I'm probably not going to change them.
All I will say on that issue is that I wish we devoted half the energy we devote to preventing abortion to something like, oh, say, taking care of the underprivileged kids who weren't aborted. Everyone loves an unborn fetus, but forget the eight-year-old with a bad home situation and no resources.* Many are willing to badmouth abortion or march in protest against it, but very few of us are willing to take a troubled foster kid into our home. That unaborted eight-year-old isn't perceived as a child needing to be saved; that child is just a social problem who annoys everyone and just needs some Ritalin already. Most of us just spend our time worrying aloud about how the kid is going to grow up and rob us later, or perhaps taint our sweet, overprivileged middle-class kid with his bad influence. Love the fetus, hate the child. Shame on all of us for that.
Throw a stone at those considering abortion**, and I have no choice but to call you to task on your many social failings, some of which are outlined above. But I just ranted about the people on Flickr, and I have threatened to stab far too many people in the you-know-where already (last time, I promise), so the above paragraph will have to suffice.
But before you put your support behind a law like this, I suggest you go read more about Potter's Syndrome, in which a baby is born without kidneys and dies within hours. Some parents, in a decision that breaks my heart, choose to carry their babies to term, just so they can meet their baby and spend those few precious hours with them before the child dies. You can never say what you would choose in that situation until you're there, but my feeling is that I would not be strong enough to carry that child to term. Can you imagine? Months of person after person asking you, "Oh! When are you due? You must be so excited!" and every time, that question prompts a wave of pain and your struggle to decide whether to explain to them that this baby is certain to die at birth. Nine months of sickness, the general medical risks that come with pregnancy, depression, and so on ... nine months that are certain to end with a dead baby. A pregnancy with no hope. And, incidentally, a pregnancy that does not qualify for abortion under the South Dakota law, because the mother's health is not technically endangered (though an argument for her psychological health could be made ... but when is that NOT true when a pregnancy is unwanted?).
When you're done with that, I recommend you go to Julia's and read her testimony about her own abortion experience. In her case, her son Thomas faced many grave health problems, prompting the hardest decision she had ever had to make.
These women are out there. No, they aren't the majority. But I don't care about that. I care about protecting their rights. I care about not worsening their pain in an already horrendous situation. I can't bear the thought of taking those rights away from them. I can't bear the thought of standing in their shoes without the right to terminate. That concept alone makes me automatically against the type of legislation proposed in South Dakota.
Get informed. Look at all sides of the issue. And instead of saying, "Shame on her for doing this this and this," maybe we should be saying, "What can I do to make things better?" Most of us just train our own middle-class replacements and consider that to be enough of a contribution. Well, in my opinion, it isn't, at least not in terms of promoting social change, but I understand if that's all you can do. I struggle to find time to contribute now, and I don't even have a child or two to take care of.
What I don't understand is choosing to spend any spare time you DO have on the effort to restrict other's rights--all too often, from the comfort of a 2500-square-foot house in the suburbs, with your two beautiful, healthy children, who have benefited from excellent medical care and a good educational system--and who were lucky enough to be born with both their kidneys right where they needed to be. Most of us have no idea what it is like to try to raise a child on a single income without a college degree. Most of us have no idea what it is like to give birth to a dying baby. No idea. How nice to have the luxury of judgment anyway. How nice to exist in the target voting demographic. Lucky us.
Give up the moral patrolling. If you're just so moved by the situation, roll up your sleeves and HELP a young expectant mother, or a young child. Advocate. Spend your time on something else. Anything else. Please. And maybe, if you get time, you can oppose this legislation in some small way. But if not, at least don't stand behind it without knowing the issues.
Forgive this harsh look into our reality. Believe me, I don't like it either. It's more fun to wake up every morning and say in the mirror, "Hello, good person! Your hair looks nice!" than to say, "You aren't doing enough on Social Issues A, B, and C. There is no real excuse." I am talking to myself here as much as anyone. But it had to be said.
Tomorrow: All about butts! And circus clowns! Or some other such nonsense.
------------
*I realize that not every woman considering abortion is sixteen years old, with no money and no prospects. But a lot of them are. I don't like stereotypes, and I understand that many many aborters are actually married and with plenty of money (yes, really), but from what I've read, I'm not under the impression that that's the norm.
**Note that there is a very, very big difference between opposing abortion in your own personal philosophy and taking action to prevent others from making their own decisions on this issue. I don't care if you oppose it. This post is not about that.
posted by Schnozz at 1:35 AM
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